


want is not a dirty word

by haleofStilesheart



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Dean Winchester's Birthday, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Selfish Dean Winchester, in a good way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22396396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haleofStilesheart/pseuds/haleofStilesheart
Summary: It's Dean's birthday, just another day in January in his book. But Cas has different ideas.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 90





	want is not a dirty word

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't resist doing a second story for Dean's birthday! <3

Dean woke up slowly, wondrously warm in the comfort of his own bed and feeling more well-rested than he had in years. There was a warm hand running up and down his back under his t-shirt and a pair of lips pressing a soft kiss to his temple, a deep gravelly voice in his ear whispering, "Good morning, Dean."

He smiled into the pillow his arms were curled around, letting out a low hum of acknowledgment. Basking in the soothing motion of the hand rubbing his back, he arched up into the touch, stretching luxuriously all the way to his toes.

Another kiss, this time on his cheek followed by another at the corner of his mouth, had him opening his eyes to look at Cas. As Dean's eyes fluttered open, squinting in the dim light of the bedside lamp, Cas leaned back on his elbow to greet him with a smile.

He was stretched out in bed beside Dean, the lamp on the nightstand behind him illuminating his silhouette in a halo of light. He was smiling, the corners of his eyes crinkled.

Dean couldn't resist reaching out to thumb the stubble on his cheek, delighting in the gentle rasp before resting his palm on Cas' chest. He was dressed for bed in one of Dean's old t-shirts and a pair of borrowed pajama pants, black with a cartoon penguin pattern, having taken to dressing more casually around the Bunker, if only when sharing Dean's bed.

It was still a bit of a culture shock, seeing Cas in something other than the many layers of his holy tax accountant get-up, but Dean had seen him in even less so he was getting used to it. Just like he was getting used to seeing Cas smile, something he'd been doing more and more since permanently settling into the Bunker, settling in with  _ Dean. _

"Mornin'," Dean said, smiling crookedly at his angel.

Cas' smile grew a touch wider, a flash of teeth visible as he set his chin in the crook of his palm. With his other hand, he continued rubbing wide circles on Dean's back, the gentle touch turning Dean boneless.

"It's your birthday," Cas pointed out conversationally. Dean's eyebrows shot up as he tried to recall what the date was.

"Yeah, guess so," he hummed after a moment, rolling fully onto his stomach. He'd never given much thought to his birthday, not since he was a little kid and had learned the hard way that hoping for any kind of celebration or simple acknowledgment of his birthday would just leave him disappointed.

The most his dad ever did for his birthday was spring for a motel room with a couch so Dean didn't have to sleep on the floor or bunk with Sam, or let Dean have a couple of beers even though it was absolutely the last thing a ten year old should've been drinking. Once they'd gone to an actual restaurant for dinner instead of a dive bar he and Sam were technically too young to even enter, but that was more of a coincidence than anything planned on John's part.

They'd spent a couple of his birthdays with Bobby, when John was busy on dangerous hunts or spending the weekend at whorehouses,but Dean had never brought it up, never even told Bobby when his birthday was. Didn't want to overstay his welcome or make Bobby feel obligated to do something stupid and unnecessary like get him a card.

Dean had always tried to make Sam's birthday special, hustling pool or pickpocketing to go out and buy him a birthday present, even if it was just some dumb toy from a dollar store or a candy bar from a 7-Eleven. Wanted to make sure Sam always felt appreciated and loved. 

Somewhere along the line, he'd just stopped caring about his own birthday. Stopped keeping track of when it even was. Let it pass for years without notice until it became just another day in January. Another day on the road or hunting.

He hadn't even realized that his birthday was coming up, hadn't realized Cas knew when it was. He wasn't sure if Sam knew.

Shrugging to himself, he turned his cheek against the pillow so he could keep looking at Cas, soaking in the sight of the angel in his bed, a sight he'd never get tired of. He wanted to kiss him so much his lips ached.

So he figured he'd try his luck. Expecting an eye roll and a gentle slap on the arm, Dean teased, "Do I get a birthday kiss?"

Cas huffed a small laugh, like Dean expected, before swooping in to press a long, lingering kiss to Dean's. He politely ignored Dean's morning breath in favor of deepening the kiss, his hand settling on the small of Dean's back.

Though surprised, Dean easily melted into the kiss, raising his hand to cup the back of Cas' head, fingertips sliding into his perpetually messy hair. Cas pulled back a moment later, smiling radiantly. "Happy birthday."

Dean couldn't have stopped the dopey grin that spread across his face if he wanted to. (And part of him did, embarrassed how soft Cas made him, like putty in his hands.) He could feel his face flush, already worked up from a little kiss.

He bit his bottom lip, willing away the flurry of butterflies in his stomach as he looked at the lazy, almost smug smile on Cas' face. He could stay like this for hours, curled up in bed with Cas, all of his worries and responsibilities totally forgotten at the moment.

But birthday or not, they had work to do. Regretting that they'd have to get up soon, Dean sighed, dropping his hand from Cas' head to tuck back under his pillow. "So… What's on the agenda today?"

"What do you want to do today?" Cas asked, resuming the motion of his hand on Dean's back, head tilted to the side. Jeez, Dean didn't think that would ever stop being so god damn adorable. And if Cas kept rubbing his back like that, he might just say screw it and stay in bed all day.

"Well, we should probably look for another case," Dean said, going through his mental checklist of things he needed to do, listing them aloud. "And I gotta put snow chains on Baby. Should clean the bathroom, too. Maybe the kitchen, if I got time."

But Cas just shook his head, a small bemused smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He pulled his hand out from under Dean's t-shirt, trailing it up his arm and the back of his neck to run his fingertips through Dean's mussed hair.

"I didn't ask what you  _ have  _ to do, Dean," Cas pointed out gently, smile softening. "I asked what you  _ want _ to do."

The clarification made Dean pause. He wasn't used to doing what he wanted, not really.

His whole life had been fueled by duty and responsibility. He'd spent the first twenty or so years of his life taking care of Sam until he'd run off to Stanford, raising the kid more than his dad ever did. After that, he'd taken care of his dad, making sure he didn't drink himself to death or get his head blown off by other hunters he pissed off. Then he'd gone back to taking care of Sam again.

Throughout it all, he'd hunted. Vampires, rugaru, skinwalkers. Then demons and angels and Leviathan and God's crazy sister.

He wasn't used to being selfish. Not in any way that mattered.

Sure, he'd been selfish before but it was always in regards to stupid shit. Finding someone to hook up with or drinking a little too much, snagging the biggest slice of pizza when he and Sam got a pie. 

But when it really came down to it, Dean was used to self-sacrifice more than anything else. Letting Sam have the prize from the cereal box when they were kids even though Sam didn't even like Star Wars as much as he did, deliberately losing rock-paper-scissors so Sam didn't have to do the more dangerous things on hunts, refusing to admit how he felt about Cas because he'd rather have him as just a friend than ruin their entire relationship with his messy feelings.

So doing what he wanted? It was a novelty. One that Cas was fully encouraging, the same way he encouraged Dean to embrace his interests without shame or to accept his sexuality without worrying what his dad would say about his son being in love with a dude.

It was overwhelming how much Cas clearly loved him to suggest something as deceptively simple as him being selfish on his birthday. Dean's heart swelled, feeling almost delirious with how much he fucking adored his angel. Enough for him to clear his throat and tentatively speak.

"I wanna stay in bed some more," he started, voice shaky and uncertain. Cas' smile went from radiant to incandescent, bolstering Dean as he continued, with more certainty, "Then I wanna take a shower. A long one. With you. A drive would nice. And I definitely want pie, from that bakery in Phillipsburg. When we get back, I wanna watch the new episode of Dr. Sexy. Is-Is that okay?"

"Of course, Dean," Cas was quick to assure him, shifting closer until their bodies were pressed together, his arms wrapping around Dean. Ducking his head, he kissed Dean on the forehead. "You can have whatever you want. Now go back to sleep."

"Alright," Dean agreed, moving until he could rest his head on Cas' chest, sighing dreamily as Cas continued playing with his hair. After a moment, he tacked on, "Thanks, Cas."

Cas just hummed in response, his smile audible. Dean curled his arm around Cas' waist, reeling him in even closer, greedily soaking up the contact as he drifted back to sleep.  _ Best birthday ever. _

**Author's Note:**

> As always, you can find me on Tumblr @ hale-of-stiles-heart


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